Things We've Learned in Italy

1. Pena is pain; penna is a pen; penne is a pasta; and pene is penis.


2. Walking is how people stay fit, because all they eat are carbs and sugar.

3. There are NO SKITTLES ANYWHERE.

4. WaWa is a sound children make.

5. Drivers are freaking ridiculous. They are worse than any city-dwellers in the States.

6. The only music they play is by Lady GaGa, Rihanna, and Train.

7. You will see more of the trains than the sights themselves.

8. Many of the sights aren't as big as you think they are.

9. Americans truly are the loudest people in the world.

10. "Dinner" is a relative term.

11. Breakfast is the smallest meal and lunch the largest.

12. Hand gestures, sign language, and an Italian/English dictionary will get you by.

13. The nationals know, by sight, that you are NOT Italian.

14. Old men are perverts and young men, cheap.

15. Everyone is skinny; you will feel fat.

16. Dogs are never fixed. In fact, they’re bred.

17. They’re also better behaved than the men.

18. What you think is cheap, is actually more money in the States. Think about that exchange rate.

19. American-Italian food will never, ever compare.

20. Taxi drivers are fun.

21. Everything is more beautiful than anything at home.

22. You will get fined for jumping into the Trevi Fountain. But not for drinking out of the fountain by the Spanish Steps.

23. Hot chocolate is actually hot, melted chocolate.

24. They have no idea what Chicken Parm, Fettucine Alfredo, and the Seven-Fish Dinner are.

25. American ice cream does NOT equal Italian gelato.

26. Us tourists have to stick together.

27. They probably think we're as funny as we think they are.

28. The term "alcoholic" does not exist here.

29. Nor does the term "butterface."

30. This place is home.
 
xoxo Ashley